Armenian Customs

When I first came to Armenia, I encountered some behavior that stood out to me. Sometimes it felt strange, sometimes funny, sometimes very warm, and sometimes uncomfortable. Although being here for 7 months has warmed me up to the mentality of the Armenian people, it took some getting used to. It is good to go into the country and experience these cultural peculiarities first-hand. However, it could also be helpful to hear a little bit about what to expect. Here are some Armenian customs and practices that are unique.

Physical touch

One thing you are bound to notice is the way friends act with each other, and what might be strange to some foreigners is how physical friends are with each other. It is very often with a hug and a kiss, whether between guys, girls, or a guy and a girl. You might think they haven’t seen each other in a long time, but they could have seen each other yesterday and would still come in for the warm greeting. Don’t be too surprised if you visit a local Armenian and they try to greet you this way.

You will also probably notice that friends are just generally very touchy with each other. Girls hold hands with their friends while walking, guys will wrap one arm around another guy he is talking to, or they will link arms. None of this means anything beyond friendship; it is just a show of care and affection. Between a guy and a girl, however, holding hands or things of this nature are more suggestive.

I personally have not completely adopted this behavior with my friends. I still generally keep my distance because that is what I am used to, but at least I know what to expect, and don’t see this amount of physical contact as weird.

Wedding Traditions

You might not attend a wedding here, but even so, you might hear one anyway. You might wonder why every single car on the road is honking its horn constantly. This is most likely in celebration of a newly married couple, who at that moment would be in a car driving somewhere (or perhaps just in circles). It took me hearing this a few times to figure out that it was because of a wedding, and was one of the many traditions that come along with it.

There are many traditions when it comes to an Armenian wedding. People may follow these traditions to a lesser or greater degree, but nevertheless weddings are very big deals in Armenia, and the traditions are abundant. For instance, after many ceremonies, celebrations, gift-giving, etc., once the bride and groom reach their new house (or the groom’s parents house), it is customary to break a plate in front of the door before entering. This is for good luck. The groom’s mother also will put lavash over the couple’s shoulders, and give them a spoonful of honey, which is a symbol for sweetness and happiness.

Family

Armenian families tend to stick very close together. It is not uncommon for adults to be living with their parents. Often times they won’t move out until they are married. Even then, sometimes the married couple comes to live with the husband’s parents. It is tradition that they live with the husband’s parents and not the wife’s.

Family is so important to Armenians that a foreign traveler might get a bit too many personal questions for their liking. It is quite common for a stranger to ask you questions like “Are you married?”, “Do you have kids?”, “Do you like Armenian girls?”, and upon a “no” answer, they might press as to why having a family isn’t your top priority in life. This happens especially if you are of Armenian descent. This is because to many, many Armenians, family is a top and immediate priority.

Armenians tend to get married young, heavily supported and even influenced by their parents. Grown family members, if they don’t live in the same house, usually live near each other and visit often. It is quite normal to have a day of the week, like Sunday, on which parents, grandparents and grandkids and everybody come over to the house for the day.

I find this mentality very warm and uniting, as Armenians really care about each other and see us all as extended family.

Hospitality

An Armenian home is one of the most welcoming places. If one friend wants to visit another friend, they will call them, so that the host has time to make sure they have coffee, fruits, candies, pastries, etc., and if they don’t, go out and buy it before their friend comes over. Armenians tend to stay prepared for such occasions, whether for friends or guests, with these kinds of dishes. A foreign guest might refuse, or say that there is no need to set a table, but it doesn’t matter; it’s tradition, and the host will sit down with you, offer you things, talk to you, ask you all kinds of questions, and will probably insist over and over again that you eat something.

Even strangers that you meet outside can show a great amount of hospitality. You’ll encounter this mostly in villages. It is not uncommon for someone to invite another person they just met to come over to their house, for dinner or drinks or something. Hospitality is a value that is very important to Armenians, and other people from different cultures can learn a lot from them.

Funerals

One evening, a volunteer I knew was walking home alone. She reach the stairs leading into the apartment, and as she walk up and passed the first door, she had a huge fright. The lid of a coffin was standing right outside the neighbor’s door. If you don’t know what this means, or didn’t expect it, this could be very startling. An Armenian, however, would know that this means a member of that household has died recently. This is an early part of the funeral tradition. The lid of a coffin is placed outside the door, requesting silence and respect in the area. Let’s spare you the fright that some visitors face when they aren’t pre-warned about this tradition.

What I have told you here only scratches the surface of Armenian culture. It is a unique mentality, and I hope many people get to experience it. Take this article as a heads-up, but it is by no means a cautionary post or a warning. You can learn a lot by visiting and being among the Armenians. Witness the customs, take part in traditions, and you will learn about the culture.

 

Article by our US volunteer Jack Mooradian

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